Honey, I'm... Where Am I Again?

Well, last week at this time, I was sitting in my African cottage with my person. Today I am sitting on a patio in Weatherford, TX. I had just a couple days in Houston… only to pack, say goodbye, and move. I’m not going to pretend this was easy. It wasn’t. It isn’t.

So much change and I’m not even talking about the time zones, although that is just now starting to seem normal again. Faces, schedules, zip codes, roads, and radio stations are different.

I couldn’t have come up with this on my own. Moving is not something that I consider to be in my Top 7 and saying goodbye is always so hard. But here I am.

Jesus, You called me and created perfectly. You know me. You’ve always known me. You will never forsake me either. That’s true and that’s a promise I can stand firm on.

Psalm 139:16 (MSG) Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

Jesus, thank You that Your plan is WAY better than my plan. Thank You for leading and directing me.

Where do I even begin?
- I have learned (again) that I was created perfectly. My intensity, passion, desire for intimacy, and intentionality is not a mistake.
- that I am worth more than a sparrow… and the animals that I saw on an African safari – no matter how magnificent they are.

- expectations are tough and I can’t expect people to act/react/handle things/love the way that I want them to.
- there is a real spiritual battle taking place.
- I am a bridge for the Kingdom of God – connecting people to their Kingdom stories.
- when Jesus restores – He restores things to a ‘better than before’ type of new.

- I’m worth it. (and so are you)

- God’s love is more than conditional, for it is intended to change those who receive it. And now I can begin to change, not to earn love but because of love. love. oh man. Love is strong.

So that’s where I am today. No big deal, right? He he he.
But that’s also where I am with this move.
It’s not easy, but it’s essential.
It’s an obedience and a response to a call.
It’s an ‘if I don’t, who will’ sort of thing.

indelible

2010 = indelible

---

indelible |inˈdeləbəl|
• making marks that cannot be removed
• not able to be forgotten or removed

---

On January 4th, 2009 I wrote about moments. That I would try to live for each moment rather than by any measure of time. Let's be honest, trying to remember what happened in a year is mind-boggling. I'd rather remember the moments with you... no dates, just moments... just the feelings... just the words.
I realize I sound artsy and flakey and feely - but that's just who I am. Chances are, if you are reading this, you already knew that though. Shoot. I have a MoMA app on my iPhone.

Anyway... in that blog I talked about a prophesy spoken over me.
"You will grow 10 years in a year."
I thought that was 2008.
Then I thought it was 2009.
But now it's 2010?
Ok. I'm confused.

God, does that mean I will grow 10 years EVERY year? That my years are decades?
Eish. I'm not sure I'm entirely ready for this... but I don't think I'd do it any other way either. What's the fun in that, right?

2010:
I experienced God through orphans in Africa and floods in Guatemala.
He called me Daughter
He made me a bridge.
He gave me a person.
I have new relationships that will truly last a lifetime, even on a continent that isn't mine... (or is it?)
I have been learning the words 'family' and 'home' and it doesn't hurt all the time.
I am standing at the door of opportunity in my business and ministry and not merely existing and making ends meet.

2010 was indelible.

indelible moments.



Yep. That's about right.

I can fit 365 days into a one-liner for the first time probably ever:
If I don't, who will?

God called me. And He spoke the word 'moments' again to me.
(I think we're on to something here...)

"Moments" has been my word for over 2 years now. Going strong.
When I was in Africa, He told me that I was supposed to capture moments - which would capture stories - which would capture hearts - to further His Kingdom.

indelible calling.

So here I am, tucked away in a tiny corner, of a perfect patio, on the most beautiful day, in a quaint little lunch spot, in Houston's art district, listening to Brooke Fraser singing her soul out about Orphans & Kingdoms.... see?


This, my friend, is my perfect day.
I'm planning on having more of these kinds of days this year. I need them.
It feeds me and fills me. It reconnects me. It separates me.
Jesus got away to pray. Even asked His boys to have a boat ready for Him... always ready to go. He knew when He needed it. I do, too. I'm a better everything when I get to do this. So, ya... I want to be a better everything this year.

And as incredible and indelible as 2010 was for me, I'm ready to see what happens this year. I'm excited to get to be a part of the Kingdom in this capacity and to capture indelible moments and stories.

Join me.

Beautiful Exchange

Christmastime. Malls are packed and the return and exchange lines will be zoos. I used to be a manager at a retail store and I hated returns and exchanges. First of all, it meant the company wasn't gaining any revenue and that was never really good as a manager. Secondly, people became dishonest... as if I really cared why they were returning the ugly sweaters and socks that Aunt Cathy bought for them. The stories were incredible.

God is in the exchange business... like a customer service rep at Christmas time... (um. only better) He is cheerful, willing, ready... (perfect.)

Beauty for ashes.
Dancing for mourning.

I can picture myself walking up to Him... waiting in line with my story. My explanation in my back pocket (along with the receipt of course) as to why I needed to exchange my 'thing.' He doesn't care. It's not about revenue. It's not about the reason. It's the act. It's the exchange act.

Adoption for orphans.
Life for death.

Beautiful Exchange
[Hillsong]

You were near
Though I was distant
Disillusioned, I was lost and insecure

Still mercy fought
For my attention
You were waiting at the door
Then I let You in

Trading your life
For my offenses
For my redemption, You carried all the blame

Breaking the curse
Of our condition
Perfection took our place

When only love could make a way
You gave Your life in a beautiful exchange

My burden erased
My life forgiven
There is nothing that could take this love away

My only desire
And sole ambition
Is to love You just the same

When only love could make a way
You gave Your life in a beautiful exchange
When only love could break these chains
You gave Your life in a beautiful exchange

Holy are You, God
Holy is Your name
With everything I've got
My heart will sing how I love You

Jesus, I belong to You. I surrender the ugly sweaters and socks in my life that I never really wanted for the things that I really want... more of You. More of Your will in my life. More of Your understanding. More of Your direction. At Your the sound of Your voice, I will follow You. The great exchange Jesus. More of You for less of me.

Artober and Mod

Woke up this morning... needed to disappear.
Nothing personal people.

When I lived in Houston I would, every Saturday, go to a cafe, sit on the patio, drink some coffee or, dare I say, mimosa, and read. I loved my cafes. I loved my patios. I loved that time. I got to be real. I got to be alone (I didn't pay attention to the Westheimer crowd that had the same idea). I felt romantic. I felt inspired. I felt.

So this morning, I wanted to recreate those feelings. Needed some deep inspiration. Needed some regeneration.

So today I thought I would go to Galveston and connect on a deeper level... Let's be real... I needed some much needed Jesus time... some much needed refreshing time... some much needed inspiration time... and some much needed... um... disappearing time.

So here I am... on the corner of 22nd and Post Office... enjoying a freshly brewed iced coffee, on a glorious morning with an occasional breath of fresh wind, on a perfect patio table for 2... me and Jesus, that is.

And you'll NEVER believe what's going on around me...
give up yet?
Artober... Galveston's Fine Arts festival.

WHAT?!!

You see, art and I go way back. Years ago, it wouldn't have been abnormal to find me at the museum or in a gallery somewhere... definitely in my internet browser history you would find MoMA or something like it... ya. If you thought I was cool, you can stop now. I'm cool with it.

This feeds me. It feeds my soul. And this motivates me.
It teaches me how to be creative again... to just even be around creative people brings it out in me.

Thank You Jesus for knowing what I needed today... for always being here... and for continuing to surprise me at every corner.


And here's why I like a cafe like Mod so much. Community. 3 tables behind me to my left... a table of 5 men, probably in their 50s... probably here every Saturday. Talking about everything under the sun... solving the worlds problems. I'm sure of it. Right now they're talking about religion and politics. It's true... I didn't make that one up. I secretly want to go join their table. I'm watching Craig, who works here, water the flowers around me... and knowing every passer-by by name. Ken, the guy behind the counter, was so hopped up on caffeine already (by 8am) and wanted to tell me all about it. I told him to hook me up with the good stuff so I'd shake with him. (I think he did) And the dogs... so many dogs on this patio. Cheeto would love this place.

It feels good here. It feels like 'home' here. It's the Cheers of the morning. Everybody knows your name, and your drink, and your dog's name. And the art. Oh man... the art. I think my heaven will have an art festival in it... and iced coffee definitely.

What's your place? Where's the place that you go to disappear and regenerate?

Jesus, thank You for inspiration. Thank You for the feelings this morning. Thank You that I get to do this. Thank You for reminding me what it felt like... Thank You for the kiss on the the forehead this morning in the form of an art festival. Thank You for Mod and their ridiculously (and amazingly) strong coffee. Thank You for knowing me so perfectly to know that I needed this... and for knowing what it would do to me. Thanks for having coffee with me this morning... wasn't it good? And for everything... thank You for that. Thanks that I got to see the most beautiful mosaic inside this cafe and that I got to feel a deeper connection to my P through being here. You are so good to me and You take such good care of me... in ways that I don't even know I need.... You've got those too. Feeling grateful. Feeling refreshed. Feeling regenerated. Feeling closer to You. Thanks buddy.

A Trip To Remember

R.U.4 Children just returned from their FEED 5000 campaign in Guatemala. On this particular feeding trip, we fed and ministered the gospel and distributed 220,000 meals. We were working in the Pacific-coastal region of Esquintla, Guatemala in the city of Puerto San Jose; which was devastated by high rising flash floods.



Our team and partner church, Casa de Dios, went into the flood zone on Wednesday, September 29th to distribute tickets. Tickets were given to local families in need. Each family had to present that ticket on the day of the feeding to receive the 40 lb bag of food. On the day of the ticket distribution the water was standing 3 - 4 ft and we were still able to drive through the flooded area. The flooding was supposed to subside, but instead the water took a turn for the worse.



Wednesday afternoon our team went to our beach-side house, which was on high ground and has never experienced flooding in over 100 years. One hour into our stay at the house, the weather began to worsen. No forecast could have predicted how bad our night would be. By 10:00 pm, just 6 hours after our arrival to our safe-house, the water had risen 8 - 10 feet and and had surrounded the house, trapping us in. The out-lying roads were too bad for us to make it back to town, so we waited. By 1:00 am on Thursday morning the water was beginning to seep into the house. Needless to say the entire team spent the night on the 2nd floor. The next morning the water had risen an additional 3 ft and was on our door step and by 5 am the waters overtook the house. The bottom floor of the home filled up with over 20 inches of water in 45 minutes. At this moment, our team fervently began to pray and intercede that the waters would stop. By the time the water stopped rising, it had risen 17-20 ft from the previous afternoon. Even if we wanted to leave, the standing water in the street directly in front of our house was between 7-10 feet deep. By noon on Thursday the 30th, we were rescued by boat. We traveled down a river channel that was so high, we were traveling above the power lines. Just when we thought we were on a perfect getaway to safety, the current carried our boat into a tree. After the crash, we made our way to high enough ground that we could walk. Our team set out on foot to dry ground. We walked 1.5 miles through chest high water until we were met by rescue trucks. God had his hand on us throughout the entire crisis, proving Himself to our team once again!



Thursday evening we were taken back to safety in Guatemala City. Even though we were now safe, our hearts were broken for the families left in the flood waters. We learned many of the homes in the outlying villages were completely washed away. Some villages were under 17 - 20 feet of water and sadly, there were elderly and small children who were lost in the flash floods during the night. I'll never forget what I heard that night. By Friday morning, the waters had receded enough for us to go back into the flood zone to deliver food. We drove our trucks as far into the flooded waters as we could. The remaining people were so grateful. We had a special bond with the local people, because they knew we had suffered through the night alongside of them.

liar liar pants on... the ground?

for my African friends who missed American Idol and the song of the year:



yep. that just happened. and now this is normally where i have some eloquent transition and segue into the point... not today. im jumpin right in. it'll come later.

satan is a liar. his lies are so stupid too... and make us look stupid if we believe them. so why do we (ok, i) believe them? ugh. i think once you realize how deceived you've been, its like you're caught with your pants around your ankles. (ok, there was the segue from the song...) for me, when i realize how i've given into the lies of the enemy, im left feeling naked and ashamed... lookin like a fool with my pants on the ground.

thank you Jimmy Needham for putting music to what i'm feeling...

To the slaughters you are being led
Being told that it's a party
That this God is in your head
And every single lie
Sounds just like the greatest truth
But the one truth you're not hearing
Is that he died for you

ok. i'm needing the truth of God to drown out the lies of the enemy. the lies that say im not good enough, im not pretty enough, im not worth it... im not, well, enough.

heres the truth... the Gospel of Jesus... mmhmmm...

Romans 8:1-3 (The Message)

With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that.

lies are easier to believe than the truth. why?

Thank You God for going straight for the jugular on my behalf. Lift the low-lying black cloud of lies that creep... Thanks for Jesus.

to tell you the truth...

Most of us have the tendency to avoid truth telling in our relationships and if you want to do that - you can, have at it. But don’t complain about your relationships being superficial because that’s exactly what they’ll be without truth. And don't try to have one of those with me. I like it messy. I like it raw. And I want to KNOW the people in my life. Who has time for superficial relationships anyway? Whats the point of that? It's like going to Starbucks to order a decaf...

Community without truth is artificial harmony.

In fact if you’ve surrounded yourself with community that won’t speak truth to you then you don’t really have community as much as you have a gathering of convenient relationships.

Eww. Gross.

I searched for the word "community" in twitter and the results were astounding... about 10 new posts every 30 seconds... and counting. Then I switched to "authentic community" and the posts were far less popular. And literally all of the "authentic community" tweeps were self-proclaimed Christians. The ones talking about just plain ol' community - well, too many to count.

Sad.

Just one word away, yet a world apart. i think im on to something here...

The world needs to know what it means to be authentic and it has to be through Jesus. And it has to start with His followers. let do this thing and do it well...

Community without authenticity? No thank you.
Convenient relationships? No thanks.
No mess = No fun.
I would rather have a community of truth tellers and authentic lovers and live a vulnerable life with them, then a multitude of relationships that the only leg they have to stand on is an artificial substance... where you must live a shut out life and keep heart-boundaries. i hate heart-boundaries.

Time's a-wastin people - let's get dirty.