I don’t really know what to say.
It’s not a story.
Not really even a moment.
It’s not a name, or a face… it’s a presence.
Then the Lord said to Moses, “Stretch out your hand toward the sky so that darkness will spread over Egypt – darkness that can be felt.” (Exodus 10:21)
I feel it.
The darkness.
The heaviness.
There is a real battle between light and dark going on and I feel it.
I felt it Sunday night when we went to go get Lifa from his dad’s house more than ever before.
I felt it at Mama Charity’s house when you could sense her fear of her abusive sister.
Or the deep sadness in her hungry children and not really knowing if the story you hear is the truth.
I felt it when we walked past the tavern to 20 yr old Neli’s property, where we’re building a proper home for her and her 4 younger siblings. All HIV+ with TB currently sleeping on a queen size bed in a rundown shack.
Darkness all around.
When God spoke, light broke into darkness and kicked this whole thing into motion.
And it didn’t stop there.
All throughout the Bible God speaks about the battle between light and dark.
He is our light and salvation. (Psalm 27:1)
He wraps himself in light as with a garment. (Psalm 104:2)
His word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. (Psalm 119:105)
We are supposed to be the light of the world (Matthew 5:14) as Jesus was. (John 8:12)
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. (1 John 1:5)
Light represents what is good, true and holy.
I live in the Bible Belt.
I hear about the light a lot.
We don’t speak of darkness.
But what good is light to a well lit area?
Light is only light because it cancels out the darkness.
This trip I’ve felt a lot of darkness.
I’ve seen a lot of shame.
Shame hides from the light.
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God. (John 19:21)
I’ve experienced despair and hopelessness.
And it’s easy to get really mad about it.
I’m mad about the darkness.
I’m mad at the lifestyles and living situations of some of the people I see especially when it affects kids that I love.
I’m mad about a 4 yr old boy living in a place of total darkness, when a home of light is a possibility, only because he is without an ID.
I’m mad about a 9 yr old boy who assumes the responsibility as head of his household yet sucks his thumb.
I’m mad about a 10 yr old girl who runs away constantly because her prostitute mother comes home to beat her when she gets off “work.”
I’m mad about a 20 yr old girl who desperately wants to go back to school to get an education but can’t because her deadbeat mother left her to care for her 4 younger siblings.
I’m mad about disease and hopelessness.
I’m mad about poverty and hunger.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12)
I’m mad that we live in a dark world and I am only one light.
Jesus, I pray that all of the lights of the world would burn brighter today. More of You and less of the world. Amen.
