Sushi and Truth

Heres my revelation I had today at lunch - I guess its ultimately getting back to the basics of things. Regardless, it felt new to me today.

We are wired so that something outside ourselves give us life. So we, in our very nature, would seek a kind of redemption from an outside source... The way the sun provides life to a plant - that sort of thing.

So we begin our search. But what we find in our desire, and ultimately our lack of fulfillment, ever since the separation, and even more close to home - our "Great Sadness" - is for someone, or something that loves us. I can tell you that out of my own story - I have only experienced a love that is a i-love-you-only-when-you-(fill in the blank) type of love. This will always leave you miserable and you will find yourself going through your days feeling like less of a person. You live feeling like all you are is an object - only good for a service you provide. And when you are broken, like a piece of hardware, you will be dismissed... no longer of any use. So what do you do? You force yourself - despite the rust and inability to function properly - to keep performing so that you will not be thrown away. Because not being used at all, would somehow hurt more than the very act of being used improperly.

This makes sense to me.

We need this; we need this so we can love other people purely and not for selfish gain, we need this so our relationships can be sincere, we need this so we can stop kicking ourselves around, we need this so we can lose all self-awareness and find ourselves for the first time, not by realizing some dream, or by identifying ourselves by the things that other people tell us we are, but by being told who we are by the only Being who has the authority to know, and by that, of course, I mean the Creator.

Maybe it was just the sushi I had for lunch, but either way, I found this interesting so I thought id share it