Lent

First of all, I have never participated in Lent... EVER. In fact, I think I may have made fun of some of the people who got so 'into' it when I was younger. I remember that it became just the thing to do, without ever realizing why you were doing it. Even in high school people would ask what they gave up for Lent, and the typical answer was something they never really did in the first place...
"I'm giving up sodas!" (when they never really drank them anyway)
"I'm going to not cuss!" (...just give them 10 minutes)
"I'm not going to watch ANY tv!" (unless it's American Idol, or 24, or House, or CSI)

So I decided to read more into it... and here's what I've come to understand:
• Lent is not a Death March to Easter – The sacrifice of Jesus the Liberating King is so significant that we cannot even begin to express our gratitude by extreme fasts.
• Feasting is as important as Fasting – The historic practice of lent is a 40 day fast. Those 40 days do not include Sundays, which were intended as a break from fasting so that believers might feast together. So, plan to feast well during Lent and make that an essential part of your spiritual preparation for Easter.
• Why 40 days? Because, Jesus fasted and was tempted in the wilderness for 40 days. Lent, then, is our time of fasting, prayer, temptation and repentance. Lent is not required anywhere in the Scriptures, but it has been a custom, which Christians have practiced for most of the last two thousand years.
• In many languages, the word "Lent" actually means "fast." This is where the custom of giving up something for Lent originated.

The focus of Lent was always threefold:
• It was a time to prepare new converts for baptism through intensive classes and instruction.
• It was a time for long-standing Christians to review their lives and renew their commitment to Jesus Christ.
• It was a time for backsliders to be restored to the faith.
• In every case, it is a time for serious, disciplined self-examination, a time spent in intensive prayer and repentance before the cross of Calvary.

Recently, a very simple realization broke my will, pride and I pray that during lent it will break my heart. Gratefulness is one of the clearest signs of a healthy spirituality. When one has been given what they do not deserve, their hearts should expand with hope and love. The opposite is also true – entitlement is a sure sign of an unhealthy spiritual life. I am praying that I will abandon my sense of entitlement and become a truly grateful woman.

So, in order to better identify with those that are truly hungry I will be limiting my diet during lent to chicken and salad.

I am not doing this to lose weight, nor do I think you should. Tomorrow I will begin a journey to rediscover what the Bible says and really enter fully into the story of Jesus, and to hopefully become a different woman – a grateful woman.

525,600 Minutes

so how do you measure a year?

Here is what I have learned, so far, in my last year of life...
- you dont have to be "old" to have a heart attack
- family is exactly what you make it - and who you make it
- pride really does come before the fall
- true friends may not be what they seem
- wisdom is seeking truth over any lie
- redemption really is a beautiful thing
- broken things dont always have to be bad
- it's ok to admit you need help... especially when you receive it
- transparency is the only way to truly live
- starting over is not as easy as the movies make it out to seem
- there is only one true enemy... and he sucks
- anniversaries are ok to celebrate
- God is so faithful

and making a list like this is really difficult when your mind is full of so many things.

i am overwhelmed and taken back by how far we've come. literally tears race down my cheeks as i remember who i was, and where You have brought me. I will never be the same again. I never want to. I love our relationship now. It's so real and genuine and pure and lovely. Lord You are so faithful to me. You love me so deeply and richly and fully and completely... and i, You. my heart is whole. You are truly my Healer. and that absolutely nothing is impossible for You. You have proved it.

wisdom from oswald

Exhaustion means that the vital forces are worn right out. Spiritual exhaustion never comes through sin but only through service, and whether or not you are exhausted will depend upon where you get your supplies. Jesus said to Peter - "Feed My sheep," but He gave him nothing to feed them with. The process of being made broken bread and poured out wine means that you have to be the nourishment for other souls until they learn to feed on God. They must drain you to the dregs. Be careful that you get your supply, or before long you will be utterly exhausted. Before other souls learn to draw on the life of the Lord Jesus direct, they have to draw on it through you; you have to be literally "sucked," until they learn to take their nourishment from God. We owe it to God to be our best for His lambs and His sheep as well as for Himself.

Has the way in which you have been serving God betrayed you into exhaustion? If so, then rally your affections. Where did you start the service from? From your own sympathy or from the basis of the Redemption of Jesus Christ? Continually go back to the foundation of your affections and recollect where the source of power is. You have no right to say - "O Lord, I am so exhausted." He saved and sanctified you in order to exhaust you. Be exhausted for God, but remember that your supply comes from Him. "All my fresh springs shall be in Thee."

My sin is not that I am exhausted (because I totally am), but rather my sin is that I'm not completely seeking the source to quench my exhaustion. I love what Mr. Chambers said about going back to the foundation of my affections. Mmm... that's some good stuff, sir. How can I expect to be light and salt when I can hardly hold my head up without my double tall ice coffee (no ice, splash of nonfat milk)? He has made Himself available to us... to fill us... to help us. In fact, I believe He likes to do it. Like, a lot.
So, cheers to an overwhelming refreshing...