Saturday, August 14, 2010

bedtime stories, cartwheels, and

Lord, I asked You to consume me from the inside out. And You did.
Lord, I asked You to break my heart for the things that break Yours. And You did.

It's not that I'm surprised by Your faithfulness... faithfulness is what You do.
I guess I'm surprised by how deep You penetrated my soul. I'm surprised by the depths of that thing called a heart that You gave me, and I'm surprised that I am so speechless...

sigh.

It has become evident in the last couple weeks, that when a Christ-follower meets with injustice, it is impossible to cling to individual or personal rights and can no longer defend them. They are absolutely free from possessions and bound to Christ alone...

deep, huh? translation: My life got ruined in Africa.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

The "poor" I think Jesus is referring to have no security, no possessions to call their own, not even a foot of earth to call their home, no earthly society to claim their absolute allegiance... these "poor" are His disciples. The ones that truly take that "take up your cross" thing literally... They are poor for HIS sake.

In following Him, they have lost their own selves, and everything that could make them rich... Now they are poor... and in that VERY poverty, they are heirs to the kingdom. They have their treasure in secret - they find it on the cross.

I have seen the poor... and I think my idea of poor got so ruined too. Was it me that had a poor man's mentality? Was it me that didn't cling to the cross the way I should have been? I have witnessed poverty in a whole new way. And at the very same time, I have seen such wealth in the eyes of the people I met. How can I turn back now? I have seen Jesus face to face... in the form of African AIDS orphans, missionaries that know how to love, in a young woman who I admire who became my person, and in poverty stricken communities that need a breakthrough.
Lord, let Your Kingdom come and Your will be done.

There is so much to talk about. I could speak about how I have seen and experience so much love from complete strangers. I could talk about what true wealth is. I could talk about adoption. There is so much. I could talk about what it means to me to never stop loving. To never stop believing for a miracle. To never stop trusting in the Lord. To hang on to hope… The kind that is unshakable. To trust Him in everything…

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus…

God expanded me this month. He grew me and stretched me and molded me to be like Him. Some things are irreversible, and some things ought not be reversed even if you try.

I have learned so much:
- He who says he loves God and doesn't help his 'brother' is a liar.
- You can love someone deeply, and quickly, if you let yourself get vulnerable enough.

No comments: