Most of us have the tendency to avoid truth telling in our relationships and if you want to do that - you can, have at it. But don’t complain about your relationships being superficial because that’s exactly what they’ll be without truth. And don't try to have one of those with me. I like it messy. I like it raw. And I want to KNOW the people in my life. Who has time for superficial relationships anyway? Whats the point of that? It's like going to Starbucks to order a decaf...
Community without truth is artificial harmony.
In fact if you’ve surrounded yourself with community that won’t speak truth to you then you don’t really have community as much as you have a gathering of convenient relationships.
Eww. Gross.
I searched for the word "community" in twitter and the results were astounding... about 10 new posts every 30 seconds... and counting. Then I switched to "authentic community" and the posts were far less popular. And literally all of the "authentic community" tweeps were self-proclaimed Christians. The ones talking about just plain ol' community - well, too many to count.
Sad.
Just one word away, yet a world apart. i think im on to something here...
The world needs to know what it means to be authentic and it has to be through Jesus. And it has to start with His followers. let do this thing and do it well...
Community without authenticity? No thank you.
Convenient relationships? No thanks.
No mess = No fun.
I would rather have a community of truth tellers and authentic lovers and live a vulnerable life with them, then a multitude of relationships that the only leg they have to stand on is an artificial substance... where you must live a shut out life and keep heart-boundaries. i hate heart-boundaries.
Time's a-wastin people - let's get dirty.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
i want to be scandalous...
A scandal is blasphemous
...not popular
A scandal is disruptive
...not organized
A scandal is made up of misfits, nobodies, lunatics and crazies
...not made up of professionals and the dignified
A scandal is something you worry about being connected to
...not something that people want to be associated with
A scandal has a table at Starbucks
...not a corporate suite
A scandal is wild and messy
...not strategic principles
A scandal is backwards
...not always making sense
Lord, help me become scandalous for Your Kingdom... to love without boundaries, to give without worry, to live like nothing is ever going to fail.
...not popular
A scandal is disruptive
...not organized
A scandal is made up of misfits, nobodies, lunatics and crazies
...not made up of professionals and the dignified
A scandal is something you worry about being connected to
...not something that people want to be associated with
A scandal has a table at Starbucks
...not a corporate suite
A scandal is wild and messy
...not strategic principles
A scandal is backwards
...not always making sense
Lord, help me become scandalous for Your Kingdom... to love without boundaries, to give without worry, to live like nothing is ever going to fail.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
coffee, community, Christ
i was in africa last week. i was in london last week. i was in houston yesterday. i am in ft. worth today.
what?! thats so stinkin weird... culture shock? yes. but God is teaching me about the Kingdom of God today. Kacy, you said i would now have to LIVE in the Kingdom of God, because no other place would feel like home... you are so right. eish.
God, Your Kingdom stretches over the earth, and beyond, and I am so amazed by You.
Just had a senior staff prayer time with New River and it was incredible. We sang, we worshiped, we communed with each other and with God... it was beautiful. We just split up to go spend some alone time to hear from Him - for me it's to get inspired, to be still... to shut out the world and listen...
I play a game with God called "shuffle" in which i put my ipod on shuffle and let Him speak to me. He always wins. so just now, as i sit on the back porch of crenshaw's house, sipping on my coffee, having some Jesus time, He just started playing God of This City... sigh. This is one of my africa songs... You are so cool God.
There is no one like our God...
i was speaking to the staff here and the phrase "chaotic movement of God" kept pouring out of my mouth... it's what i saw in africa, and its what i still see here. they shared about just this week they got to lead a church member in their life group to the Lord. how beautiful. we assume that people in life groups are already 'believers' but don't be confused... you can believe in God, you can believe in the power of community, and not follow Jesus. big difference.
Greater things are still to be done in this city...
And all the cities around me... i think about my people in africa. my africa. God is so evident there in you. i experienced a different Jesus through you. Thank you. I think about my people in Houston... i see Jesus in you regularly. I think about my people in Weatherford/Ft. Worth/Dallas... i see Jesus in you today and every time i'm here. God is a God over a Kingdom and all the earth is His. I am so honored to be able to travel and experience Him in different people, different cities, different ways. I have the coolest job EVER.
I lift my eyes to You Lord - where my help comes from... in Your strength I will continue to press in and press through... breakthrough Lord... through every storm and every doubt and every fear... I pray for breakthrough...
Thank You God for Your chaotic movement. Please don't let me stop seeing it. There's just something about You Jesus that I can't quit...
more to come...
what?! thats so stinkin weird... culture shock? yes. but God is teaching me about the Kingdom of God today. Kacy, you said i would now have to LIVE in the Kingdom of God, because no other place would feel like home... you are so right. eish.
God, Your Kingdom stretches over the earth, and beyond, and I am so amazed by You.
Just had a senior staff prayer time with New River and it was incredible. We sang, we worshiped, we communed with each other and with God... it was beautiful. We just split up to go spend some alone time to hear from Him - for me it's to get inspired, to be still... to shut out the world and listen...
I play a game with God called "shuffle" in which i put my ipod on shuffle and let Him speak to me. He always wins. so just now, as i sit on the back porch of crenshaw's house, sipping on my coffee, having some Jesus time, He just started playing God of This City... sigh. This is one of my africa songs... You are so cool God.
There is no one like our God...
i was speaking to the staff here and the phrase "chaotic movement of God" kept pouring out of my mouth... it's what i saw in africa, and its what i still see here. they shared about just this week they got to lead a church member in their life group to the Lord. how beautiful. we assume that people in life groups are already 'believers' but don't be confused... you can believe in God, you can believe in the power of community, and not follow Jesus. big difference.
Greater things are still to be done in this city...
And all the cities around me... i think about my people in africa. my africa. God is so evident there in you. i experienced a different Jesus through you. Thank you. I think about my people in Houston... i see Jesus in you regularly. I think about my people in Weatherford/Ft. Worth/Dallas... i see Jesus in you today and every time i'm here. God is a God over a Kingdom and all the earth is His. I am so honored to be able to travel and experience Him in different people, different cities, different ways. I have the coolest job EVER.
I lift my eyes to You Lord - where my help comes from... in Your strength I will continue to press in and press through... breakthrough Lord... through every storm and every doubt and every fear... I pray for breakthrough...
Thank You God for Your chaotic movement. Please don't let me stop seeing it. There's just something about You Jesus that I can't quit...
more to come...
Saturday, August 14, 2010
bedtime stories, cartwheels, and
Lord, I asked You to consume me from the inside out. And You did.
Lord, I asked You to break my heart for the things that break Yours. And You did.
It's not that I'm surprised by Your faithfulness... faithfulness is what You do.
I guess I'm surprised by how deep You penetrated my soul. I'm surprised by the depths of that thing called a heart that You gave me, and I'm surprised that I am so speechless...
sigh.
It has become evident in the last couple weeks, that when a Christ-follower meets with injustice, it is impossible to cling to individual or personal rights and can no longer defend them. They are absolutely free from possessions and bound to Christ alone...
deep, huh? translation: My life got ruined in Africa.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
The "poor" I think Jesus is referring to have no security, no possessions to call their own, not even a foot of earth to call their home, no earthly society to claim their absolute allegiance... these "poor" are His disciples. The ones that truly take that "take up your cross" thing literally... They are poor for HIS sake.
In following Him, they have lost their own selves, and everything that could make them rich... Now they are poor... and in that VERY poverty, they are heirs to the kingdom. They have their treasure in secret - they find it on the cross.
I have seen the poor... and I think my idea of poor got so ruined too. Was it me that had a poor man's mentality? Was it me that didn't cling to the cross the way I should have been? I have witnessed poverty in a whole new way. And at the very same time, I have seen such wealth in the eyes of the people I met. How can I turn back now? I have seen Jesus face to face... in the form of African AIDS orphans, missionaries that know how to love, in a young woman who I admire who became my person, and in poverty stricken communities that need a breakthrough.
Lord, let Your Kingdom come and Your will be done.
There is so much to talk about. I could speak about how I have seen and experience so much love from complete strangers. I could talk about what true wealth is. I could talk about adoption. There is so much. I could talk about what it means to me to never stop loving. To never stop believing for a miracle. To never stop trusting in the Lord. To hang on to hope… The kind that is unshakable. To trust Him in everything…
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus…
God expanded me this month. He grew me and stretched me and molded me to be like Him. Some things are irreversible, and some things ought not be reversed even if you try.
I have learned so much:
- He who says he loves God and doesn't help his 'brother' is a liar.
- You can love someone deeply, and quickly, if you let yourself get vulnerable enough.
Lord, I asked You to break my heart for the things that break Yours. And You did.
It's not that I'm surprised by Your faithfulness... faithfulness is what You do.
I guess I'm surprised by how deep You penetrated my soul. I'm surprised by the depths of that thing called a heart that You gave me, and I'm surprised that I am so speechless...
sigh.
It has become evident in the last couple weeks, that when a Christ-follower meets with injustice, it is impossible to cling to individual or personal rights and can no longer defend them. They are absolutely free from possessions and bound to Christ alone...
deep, huh? translation: My life got ruined in Africa.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
The "poor" I think Jesus is referring to have no security, no possessions to call their own, not even a foot of earth to call their home, no earthly society to claim their absolute allegiance... these "poor" are His disciples. The ones that truly take that "take up your cross" thing literally... They are poor for HIS sake.
In following Him, they have lost their own selves, and everything that could make them rich... Now they are poor... and in that VERY poverty, they are heirs to the kingdom. They have their treasure in secret - they find it on the cross.
I have seen the poor... and I think my idea of poor got so ruined too. Was it me that had a poor man's mentality? Was it me that didn't cling to the cross the way I should have been? I have witnessed poverty in a whole new way. And at the very same time, I have seen such wealth in the eyes of the people I met. How can I turn back now? I have seen Jesus face to face... in the form of African AIDS orphans, missionaries that know how to love, in a young woman who I admire who became my person, and in poverty stricken communities that need a breakthrough.
Lord, let Your Kingdom come and Your will be done.
There is so much to talk about. I could speak about how I have seen and experience so much love from complete strangers. I could talk about what true wealth is. I could talk about adoption. There is so much. I could talk about what it means to me to never stop loving. To never stop believing for a miracle. To never stop trusting in the Lord. To hang on to hope… The kind that is unshakable. To trust Him in everything…
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus…
God expanded me this month. He grew me and stretched me and molded me to be like Him. Some things are irreversible, and some things ought not be reversed even if you try.
I have learned so much:
- He who says he loves God and doesn't help his 'brother' is a liar.
- You can love someone deeply, and quickly, if you let yourself get vulnerable enough.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
mice in our couches
taken from stuff christians like... so good and so true.
“We found a family of mice that nested inside the cushions of your couch, so we need to throw it away.”
That was what a woman on a recent television show said to a homeowner. This is the moment where the homeowner says, “Wow, I had no idea. Gross, a whole family? Ugh, let’s throw that out.” But because the show I was watching is called “Hoarders,” that wasn’t the response she gave. Instead, the old woman whose home was on the borders of being condemned said simply,
“No, we’re keeping it.”
That’s a sentence you hear a lot on that show, a program that is almost as difficult to watch as “Intervention.” The thesis of Hoarders is pretty simple, therapists and home cleaning experts help a family try to dig out of an addiction. Typically there are mountains of trash throughout the house with small pathways worn into the garbage that serve as walkways from room to room.
A lot of the time, the crew has been sent to the house because something traumatic has happened to the hoarder. Often, as I mentioned, the state has removed children from the home, the waste high trash and bugs and mold far too dangerous for tottering toddlers. And it’s a sad show, because often, the people lose their kids in order to maintain their hoarding lifestyle. The trash is more important. The numbness that hoarding offers is too enticing and you watch in shock as everything in life is given up so that a homeowner can crawl back inside a warm rubbish cocoon.
It’s easy to judge people like this. Their pain is so plain and visible. Once you’re inside the front door, there’s no pretending that something in life is significantly broken. Mountains of trash are easy to point the finger at. A hoarder can’t hide.
But watching it the other day, I thought about the danger of the hoarders you can’t see. The people who surround us every day that hoard things a lot more subtle than phone books they can’t part with or clothing they’ve never even taken out of the shopping bags or food that has long gone bad. I thought about the people who hoard things like hurt and shame and guilt.
You can’t see those people nearly as easily. Unlike the cat woman who had dozens of decomposing dead cats within her house, they never smell so strongly that neighbors alert the authorities. But the truth is, lots of us hoard just as badly as the people on that show.
I think part of the reason is that if you get hurt enough, you start to think you deserve it. Like an itchy wool sweater that doesn’t really fit right, you keep putting on hurt. You keep collecting it. Dating guys that are going to treat you like trash. Surrounding yourself with people who want to use you, running from friendships and opportunities that feel good.
I used to do this a lot. Like a hoarder who is used to bad moments, the good ones didn’t feel right. I know that sounds dumb, but it’s true. I kept drilling holes in the ship of my life whenever things started to go well. Counselors talk about that a lot. They say the two most popular times for people to hurt themselves is when they feel really low or feel really good. Good doesn’t feel right, you don’t feel like you’re good enough for good. And so you wreck things all over again. You sink the ship, you hoard.
Maybe that doesn’t sound familiar at all. Maybe you hoard hurt and shame because at least you can feel those things. Like a cutter who wants to make sure he can still feel something, you hold onto hurt because it breaks through the numbness of your day. Even though it’s pain, at least it’s a feeling. Or maybe you’ve never hoarded a negative emotion in your life and this all sounds weird.
I’m not sure where you’re at, but I know where God is. In Psalm 103, it’s laid out clearly, when it says, Praise the Lord:
“who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,”
There is not an insignificant word in that verse. From forgives to heals to my favorite word, “all,” that is a birthday card written to you. That is a love letter written to the hoarders who are having such a hard time letting go. You don’t have to heal your diseases. You don’t have to hold on to your hurt.
The “God of all” is here. The God of forgiveness is near. The God of heal is waiting.
We all get mice in our couches and trash in our hearts, but that’s OK.
You’ve got a God bigger than that. The God of all.
And that’s all I need to know.
“We found a family of mice that nested inside the cushions of your couch, so we need to throw it away.”
That was what a woman on a recent television show said to a homeowner. This is the moment where the homeowner says, “Wow, I had no idea. Gross, a whole family? Ugh, let’s throw that out.” But because the show I was watching is called “Hoarders,” that wasn’t the response she gave. Instead, the old woman whose home was on the borders of being condemned said simply,
“No, we’re keeping it.”
That’s a sentence you hear a lot on that show, a program that is almost as difficult to watch as “Intervention.” The thesis of Hoarders is pretty simple, therapists and home cleaning experts help a family try to dig out of an addiction. Typically there are mountains of trash throughout the house with small pathways worn into the garbage that serve as walkways from room to room.
A lot of the time, the crew has been sent to the house because something traumatic has happened to the hoarder. Often, as I mentioned, the state has removed children from the home, the waste high trash and bugs and mold far too dangerous for tottering toddlers. And it’s a sad show, because often, the people lose their kids in order to maintain their hoarding lifestyle. The trash is more important. The numbness that hoarding offers is too enticing and you watch in shock as everything in life is given up so that a homeowner can crawl back inside a warm rubbish cocoon.
It’s easy to judge people like this. Their pain is so plain and visible. Once you’re inside the front door, there’s no pretending that something in life is significantly broken. Mountains of trash are easy to point the finger at. A hoarder can’t hide.
But watching it the other day, I thought about the danger of the hoarders you can’t see. The people who surround us every day that hoard things a lot more subtle than phone books they can’t part with or clothing they’ve never even taken out of the shopping bags or food that has long gone bad. I thought about the people who hoard things like hurt and shame and guilt.
You can’t see those people nearly as easily. Unlike the cat woman who had dozens of decomposing dead cats within her house, they never smell so strongly that neighbors alert the authorities. But the truth is, lots of us hoard just as badly as the people on that show.
I think part of the reason is that if you get hurt enough, you start to think you deserve it. Like an itchy wool sweater that doesn’t really fit right, you keep putting on hurt. You keep collecting it. Dating guys that are going to treat you like trash. Surrounding yourself with people who want to use you, running from friendships and opportunities that feel good.
I used to do this a lot. Like a hoarder who is used to bad moments, the good ones didn’t feel right. I know that sounds dumb, but it’s true. I kept drilling holes in the ship of my life whenever things started to go well. Counselors talk about that a lot. They say the two most popular times for people to hurt themselves is when they feel really low or feel really good. Good doesn’t feel right, you don’t feel like you’re good enough for good. And so you wreck things all over again. You sink the ship, you hoard.
Maybe that doesn’t sound familiar at all. Maybe you hoard hurt and shame because at least you can feel those things. Like a cutter who wants to make sure he can still feel something, you hold onto hurt because it breaks through the numbness of your day. Even though it’s pain, at least it’s a feeling. Or maybe you’ve never hoarded a negative emotion in your life and this all sounds weird.
I’m not sure where you’re at, but I know where God is. In Psalm 103, it’s laid out clearly, when it says, Praise the Lord:
“who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,”
There is not an insignificant word in that verse. From forgives to heals to my favorite word, “all,” that is a birthday card written to you. That is a love letter written to the hoarders who are having such a hard time letting go. You don’t have to heal your diseases. You don’t have to hold on to your hurt.
The “God of all” is here. The God of forgiveness is near. The God of heal is waiting.
We all get mice in our couches and trash in our hearts, but that’s OK.
You’ve got a God bigger than that. The God of all.
And that’s all I need to know.
Monday, February 1, 2010
why i'm carly beee
Bumble Bees are not suppose to fly. In fact according to physics, science, and the laws of aerodynamics, it is impossible for them to become airborne.
Aerodynamic engineers have studied the yellow and black insect and have concluded that “theoretically” flight is impossible.
The bee’s puny little wings and its big fat body can only mean one thing…forever grounded.
Yet the bumble bee has overcome the “bad news” about its fate and has learned the art of flying!
So when the critic, naysayer, pessimist or your jerky friend points out why you can’t do something…BE THE BEE!
Aerodynamic engineers have studied the yellow and black insect and have concluded that “theoretically” flight is impossible.
The bee’s puny little wings and its big fat body can only mean one thing…forever grounded.
Yet the bumble bee has overcome the “bad news” about its fate and has learned the art of flying!
So when the critic, naysayer, pessimist or your jerky friend points out why you can’t do something…BE THE BEE!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
takin time
to write. i mean, it's only been about 4 months... and dangit i'm interesting and people want to know what i have to say. right?
moving on.
today is a memorial service for a guy i didn't know. his parents go to my church so we've all been involved in helping and making things go as well as possible. he was 20 years old. he took his own life. i dont really know what to say after that.
this just goes to show how important it is to express how you feel when you feel it. don't wait to send flowers til the funeral - send them daily... and im not talking about roses either. im talking about words, or hugs, or time, or whatever... just send them.
ugh.
moving on.
today is a memorial service for a guy i didn't know. his parents go to my church so we've all been involved in helping and making things go as well as possible. he was 20 years old. he took his own life. i dont really know what to say after that.
this just goes to show how important it is to express how you feel when you feel it. don't wait to send flowers til the funeral - send them daily... and im not talking about roses either. im talking about words, or hugs, or time, or whatever... just send them.
ugh.
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